three

Three months!! How is that even possible?! Bravo to bloggers who have babies and keep postin' like it ain't no thing. Between the exhaustion, recovery, trying to get my act together and resisting the urge to stare into those big beautiful eyes all day, blogging fell waaaay down on the list of priorities despite my genuine enthusiasm to jump back into the game.

So here we are. Rowan at three months!

Stats:
weight: 10lbs. 6.5oz{at last check up}
length: 22 inches
eyes: a bit of a debate; to me they are brown but some people swear they look a little blue in certain light
personality: pretty laid back except when hungry{gets hangry just like mom!}

This month we started cloth diapering and wearing him in the Moby. Nights are getting much better with feedings at midnight(ish) and 4:30(ish). He's started laughing and smiling which is totally adorable! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I'm able to stay home and arrange my work schedule around him although I'm still figuring it out so that I'm here to soak in all this delicious baby goodness everyday!

the sweetest thing

If you follow me on instagram or twitter you may already know the reason for the radio silence...

Two weeks ago today this little guy, Rowan Joseph, decided to make his entrance 6 weeks early! He is the sweetest, most perfect baby and we are totally smitten.

spring showers

Big sis, L, hard at work on her art square for the baby's room

I have no words for how amazing this cake from bonbonerie tasted!

The flower arrangements I made-red, white with a touch of pink in birch covered pots. 

The mimosa bar included three different juices and fresh fruit.

At the last minute I found this Peter Pilotto dress at Target. It was comfortable which is all you can hope for when you're eight months pregnant!

Tiny baby clothes!

And books to start his personal library.

Me and my mom.

 
Last Sunday my three best friends threw an amazing shower for our little bean! Remarkably, this is the first shower I've ever had! Because I'd never done the shower thing I don't think I was prepared for how emotional I'd be. This baby has turned me into such sentimental sap;)

Because we have been friends for so long(almost 30 years!) and they know me so well I was asked for my opinion on what I wanted and how it should look. I picked the location, Book Bums, a coffeehouse/cafe near our home, the colors(red,kraft paper and a touch of pink) and requested no games. I made the flower arrangements but the rest was all them. My favorite touch was requesting that each guest bring their favorite children's book in lieu of a card. We had book plates made so guests were able to sign their names and add a small message to the inside of the book. They did such an amazing job! My only regret is that I was having such a good time that I forgot to more pictures of all the little details.(blogger fail!)

The food was yummy(even if I didn't get to partake in the mimosa bar!) and the cake got rave reviews! I had a great time chatting with friends and family. Doug showed up just before dessert to help me open gifts. So. Much. Cute! The shower, the gifts, everything was so overwhelming! We are so lucky that our baby boy will be born into such a loving and warm community.

Britt, Nic and Cheryl(#teamoldschool) a million thank yous for all of your hard work! I love you girls so much!!!  

pretty paper

Last week my friends threw me a fabulous baby shower! One of my favorite details...the invitations! I worked with Jen at addie ink to come up with the perfect design. I love the color red in fact, I had a red and pink color palette in mind for the nursery in case we were having a girl! Since we decided to keep the baby's room fairly neutral, I opted to use red, kraft paper and white for the shower. We carried over the woodland whimsy idea from the nursery to the paper products. Because we asked guests to bring a favorite children's book in lieu of cards, Jen designed cute book plates so guests could write their names and a small message to the baby. I love the way they turned out!! Jen is such a sweetheart and so great to work with! I'm already planning the invitations for his first birthday party;) 

uniform

worn:maternity jeans-old navy//t shirt- liz lange for target // cardigan-anthropologie(old)

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm lucky to be pregnant in the winter. Nope! This winter's polar vortex means I've had to bundle up and I pretty much hate pants at this point. I seriously weigh outings based on how long I will be required to wear clothes. I long for the summer where I could be lounging by the pool in a swimsuit for 90% of my pregnancy. Oh well, it is what is.

Since this is my last pregnancy I really didn't want to spend a lot of money on maternity clothes. I've been lucky enough that some of pre pregnancy wardrobe has worked. So this is pretty much my uniform-maternity jeans, t shirt, cardigan and booties. It's not exciting but it works.

musings{motherhood monday}

With 9 weeks to go motherhood is on mind a lot! I became a mom for the first time at 18! Eight-freaking-teen! When I look back at that the girl I'm kind of awestruck by the fact that she thought she could do this-take on this responsibility. Of course I was in way over my head. But even knowing what I know now I wouldn't change my decision. I would be more deliberate in my choices but I cannot imagine my life without the four amazing people who call me mom!

And now, seventeen years after my youngest, I'm doing it again. This baby is such a blessing in so many ways. We struggled for years trying to conceive. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is possible for a woman who has given birth four times to be diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Clearly, the universe has a twisted sense of humor. We had long and emotional discussions trying to figure how much "intervention" we could handle and how much was too much. Was there a point where we would just have to let go and accept that a biological baby wasn't in the cards for us? If so, was adoption a viable option? Over the course of a year and half I charted, took all sorts of vitamins, cleaned up my diet, underwent a few (mildly invasive) procedures and we tried. When that didn't work I was prescribed Clomid. It felt good to be more proactive about our situation. We decided on several rounds of Clomid before moving on to IUI. It was on that final cycle of Clomid that I finally saw that (+) sign show up. I was so shocked that it took two more tests to convince me I wasnt hallucinating! This all happened the night before my husband's 41st birthday. I don't think either of us will ever forget the Saturday morning I told him we were going to have a baby. Best birthday Ever!

I'm a completely different person than I was 22 years ago when I became a mother. I look back at that fearless girl and admire her nerve. Because I know how hard it can be and the challenges that come with motherhood I'm slightly terrified! Do I have the physical and emotional energy to keep up with a baby? How will it affect my marriage? How will I balance building my business and baby? Will I lose the baby weight(shallow but true)?

This pregnancy has been an emotional roller coaster. I'm nervous, anxious and excited-and that's just over the course of an hour! But, the closer we get to D(elivery) Day the more excited I get! I can't wait to see this little nugget, hold him in my arms and cover his sweet tiny face in millions of kisses!

*motherhood posts will run on Mondays 

make room for baby

Nursery planning started long before I even found out I was pregnant. Once that plus sign appeared I went into inspiration overdrive. I knew that I didn't want a themed room-pink princess for a girl or sports themed for a boy. I wanted to focus more on the style and the color palette. Somehow in my mind I envsioned a room that had vintage elements in shades of pink and green with a little red and yellow thrown in to make it bright and cheerful. I will admit that my initial room design was leaning heavily toward the girl side. I was a tiny bit shocked when we learned that we were having a baby boy! That little nugget of info meant some design changes were needed.

The one element that I know I wanted, be it girl or boy, was the jenny lind crib. With a black crib and dark hardwood floors going into the room, I decided on a neutral color scheme of black, natural wood elements and soft gray walls. We are using shades of green, navy blue and white to give it some color.

   
Here's a little inspiration I put together for the room. I'm calling it vintage modern whimsy! When I showed it to my daughter, Skylar, she said it didn't look like a baby's room. The crib makes it a nursery;) Confession time: we're roughly 11 weeks away from my due date and we're just starting to work on the room! #slackers We are beginning to make a bit of progress. Painting and the hardwood flooring should happen this week. A few weeks ago a friend put me in touch with a local quilter to make the quilt and we found a mid century modern dresser that will also double as the changing table. It just needs a little refinishing and some new hardware. The goal is to have it finished before the my baby shower on March 9. We'll get it finished...right? I hope?! 

Impressionists

A million years ago I had dreams of being an art history major, traveling to Europe to study the works of the old masters and eventually settling in as gallery girl in a trendy gallery in New York. But, I got married, raised a family and my glamorous art world dreams faded away.

I'm not an artist but the new Waterlogue app lets me get my Monet on. I'm a little bit obsessed! Lately I've been turning photos of my flower arrangements into watercolor works of art!

Waterlogue prints of my bridal bouquets might make an awesome thank you gift!

and just like that...

I'm back! I'm surprised that I missed blogging as much as I did. I needed the break. I needed time to deal with all of the personal stuff that was happening all at once that I didn't feel like dump here. For everyone to read. At my core I'm a deeply private person. I don't always let people have access to all of the things I'm thinking and feeling. An odd thing for a blogger to admit. Anyway, long story short, I needed to figure out exactly what I wanted this space to be. The things that compelled me to start blogging were not that interesting anymore and felt forced almost like a chore. I'm still trying to figure it all out but in the time I needed to just start again, ya know? I was all set to start posting a few months ago. Then this happened and kind of knocked my off my feet for a bit!

 After three years of trying, We're having a freaking baby!!

 *27 weeks down. 13 weeks(give or take) to go!
     
And so I'm sure there will still be some stuff about what I'm wearing-which is fairly limited these days- but much more life stuff. I think. I'm happy to be here again:)